Funeral Details

Miriam Chaplik, beloved wife of the late Rubin Chaplik. Loving mother of Elynne Chaplik Aleskow (Richard Aleskow), Linda Chaplik Harris (Alan Harris), Susan Chaplik, and the late Ivy Chaplik. Devoted sister of Aaron (Madeleine) Lebedow and the late Shirley (the late Samuel) Linn. Adored daughter of the late Fannie and the late Isidor Lebedow. Following Rubin’s death, Miriam married the late David Prober and gained his family: stepchildren, Lea (Jeff) Gorman, Ellen (Mark) Hein, Rita (Bill) Hutchins, Ann Azzouz and his grandchildren who were like her own: Greg (Jessica) Gorman, Jenna Gorman, Michelle (Jeff) Gomberg, John (Courtney) Hein and Jake Hutchins. Also survived by David’s great grandchildren: Lincoln and Ethan Hein, Leah, Annabel and Miles Gomberg, and Leo Gorman. Beloved aunt, great aunt and great grand-aunt to many cherished nieces and nephews. Adored by her Lebedow, Perchikoff and Chaplik family cousins. Loved and admired by family, friends and all who knew her. Special gratitude is extended to Dr. Terrence Sullivan, Liz Viray, and the most exquisite caregiver any mother could have, her daughter Susan Chaplik. The world lost a woman of unique beauty, strength and compassion as described in the story below.



Adapted from "More Than Life"

A mother's ultimate strength, love, faith and grace

In Jewish history, Miriam’s well was a source of life. Miriam nourished all whom she touched. She championed dreams, encouraged confidence and helped to lift all in need. How fitting that our mother’s name was Miriam. We, her daughters, were the principal, but not only, beneficiaries of her unmatched capacity to love listen, comfort and impart wisdom. As we try to learn to live without the woman who was our heartbeat and compass, we pay tribute to her with a memoir based on a story written by Elynne, the daughter who first made her a mother.

* * * * *

WHEN OUR MOTHER was a young girl, she went to a fortune teller during a night out with friends. The fortune teller told her that she would experience a mid-life event of catastrophic proportion.

"Who believes in fortune tellers anyway?" she thought. And yet it happened. Our mother had known the ultimate happiness and had lived the ultimate tragedy.

Growing up, and continuing throughout our adult lives, we recognized that our mother was a magnet to everyone she met. Each of us recalls that friends would love being at our home to listen to her stories.. Everyone was mesmerized by her animated voice and the wisdom of her stories. She was a housewife actress, a born oral historian. Even today, friends who were children then and are now in their 70’s quote our mother and describe the inspiration she had on their lives.

For our mother’s 80th birthday, we hosted a party that was preceded by a specially created synagogue service to honor our mom. For the service, we compiled many wisdoms and quotes that she had passed on through her stories over the years, and we put them into a book, which was distributed to every guest. A number of family and friends took turns reading the passages from the book after introducing themselves and stating their relationship to our mother.

As she watched and listened, our mother had a faraway look. She was with us, listening and enjoying this tribute to her. Yet, the full tapestry of her life had holes that could not be filled by toasts and testimonials.

As she listened to the words and philosophies that she had shared over the span of her life, her private focus turned to February 12, 1963 when she lost her mother, our beloved grandmother, in a plane crash. She had never been able to heal that wound. Yet, through her strength and faith, she continued her life and inspired a legacy of family upon which her daughters built their lives.

As our mother continued to listen to the tributes, she suddenly thought of the fortune teller and the prophetic words that would come to pass. Eleven years after our mother lost her mother, on December 20, 1974, she lost our father and our youngest sister, Ivy, in another plane crash. Our mother had just turned 50.

Our mother and father had been married for 30 years when they were brutally and untimely torn apart. My father was 55. Their love and marriage were nothing less than a story book romance. Ivy died at 16. She was the family gift - an amalgam of the best of her older sisters and so much more.

Our mother started to cry. She felt their presence as she sat listening to family members reading quotes from her birthday celebration book.

When we finished the program, we all took our seats. It was now my mother's turn to go to the lectern and take the microphone. This was her moment.

As she began to speak, we looked at her face. Our mother was blessed with a physical beauty that never failed to turn heads. Her magnificence was truly stunning. But it was her ability to empathize and persevere that inspired awe. As she spoke, she singled out most of the people attending the celebration and expressed in the most eloquent and heartfelt words the depth of her love for each of them. She genuinely was overwhelmed with gratitude for the part each person played in her life. Her face glowed. And all the while, reflected in her eyes were the loved ones of her present and past.

Our mother once took a trip with Elynne to New Orleans. Seduced by the city, they decided to have a tarot card reading. Elynne and our mother each followed a fortune teller to a private room. Elynne’s session ended and she waited for what seemed an eternity for our mom to reappear from her session. As they walked away together, they couldn’t wait to exchange stories. Elynne went first and then asked our mother to describe her experience.

“Well, my mother began, she asked me if I was a widow. I told her I was, and she told me that she was too. Then she told me her life story.”

“What?" Elynne asked in disbelief. “She told you her life story?”

“She needed an ear”, our mother answered softly.

“Did you pay her?” Elynne asked.

“Of course”, our mother answered.

Such was our mother and her effect on people. This happened not once or on occasion. But always.

Our mother and father raised their four daughters in a home of love and respect. They believed that the greatest gift they could give their daughters was a life of joyful memories. Our home was always filled with family and friends, laughter, music, and endless conversation. And our parents inspired their daughters to soar. They did so less by words and more by conveying the utmost confidence in our abilities and judgment. There were no limitations on our dreams or aspirations. Our mother was a stay-at-home mom who loved raising her family, creating a home of beauty, and hosting spectacular parties, holiday gatherings and grand celebrations. She loved her life. And for her daughters, she instilled a fearlessness and freedom to believe that with hard work, anything was possible.

Our mother faced the devastation of her life with an uncanny grace and strength. There was no bitterness in her. She never cursed fate. She focused on the blessings she had in her life, not the deficits. A great part of this ability to survive unimaginable agony and loss was her faith and selflessness. While we feared losing our mother to grief after the loss of our father and Ivy, our mother worried not of herself. Instead, she chose to be strong in order to protect her surviving daughters from even more pain. She blessed us with her strength and the gift of one another. We talked, we cried, and talked and cried some more. And we continued to do so for nearly 50 years throughout our mother’s life. Because of our mother, we learned that grief becomes a familiar part of oneself. It is not to be feared or extinguished. Like one’s arms and legs, it is a part of a person’s identity and makes us whole.

The catastrophe that the fortune teller predicted happened twice in our mother's life, but she survived, allowing love to guide her way. Her life is an example of how to live through tragedy and to love through devastation with courage and dignity. It is our blessing to have been born to this woman to whom we owe more than life.

For more information and videos about Miriam, visit www.miriamchaplik.com after April 19th.

Service Wednesday 10:30AM at Chicago Jewish Funerals, 8851 Skokie Blvd. (at Niles Center Road) Skokie.

Interment Westlawn. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to ORT America, www.ortamerica.org, Anti Defamation League, www.adl.org, American Civil Liberties Union, www.aclu.org, or charity of your choice.

To attend the funeral live stream and for shiva information, please visit our website.

Arrangements by Chicago Jewish Funerals - Skokie Chapel, 847.229.8822, www.cjfinfo.com